“There are two types of education... One should teach us how to make a living, And the other how to live.”
- John Adams ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
When is the best time to seek Marriage Counseling?
Most people go to marriage counselor when their relationship is in real trouble/crisis. The relationship may be hanging by a thread, blaming, name calling, and pain is all over the room. Sometimes one or both individuals have decided to walk away from the relationship and counseling room is the last stop before the lawyers office. The counseling room at times looks like the emergency room of a hospital.
It makes sense to go to the emergency room when we are in crisis but that’s not the only time we go to the hospital. We go to the hospital for regular check-ups, when we start feeling sick, or for consultation. Similar to our physical health, our relationship also needs proper nourishment and care.
Every committed relationship is built on a foundation. This foundation can be love, convenience, emotion, children, respect, fear, guilt or shame. Marriage counseling helps couples identify the strength and weakness of their relationship. If the weakness is in the foundation, it’s important to strengthen the foundation while addressing the reason for the visit. Issues presented in counseling are important but the source of the conflict is usually much deeper than that.
If we seek counseling early, most of our problems can find solution and some can be avoided. The average length of time couples wait to seek counseling after having serious problem is six years. Waiting six years to see your medical doctor after having serous pain may be too late. A simple infection can turn into a life threatening illness. Similarly for our marriage, a simple or normal issue can become a threat to the life of the relationship if we wait too long.
The best time to seek marriage counseling is before problems get out of hand. Pre-marital therapy can also save couples a lot of headache and pain in the long run.
_________________________________________________________________________
Our relationships need nurturing and care.
"The grass is not greener on the other side of the fence. The grass is greener where we water it !!! "
__________________________________________________________________________
The story about Two Wolves
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between 2 "wolves" inside us all.
One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."